The P Word

There's a new word floating around our house.  It's dirty.  It isn't something to be taken lightly.  It strikes fear in the hearts of those who have to clean up the mess it can leave behind.  That's right.  I'm talking about THE POTTY!

We are embarking on the nasty, frustrating, perilous potty journey with Noah.  God help us. 

Potty training sucks.  When your kid is autistic, it really sucks.  There's no way around it.  Potty training a kid with autism is full of so many pitfalls that just aren't there with typical kids. 

First, there's the fear.  Lots of typical kids are afraid of trying the potty at first, but with a kid on the spectrum, fear is an understatement.  Kids with autism are afraid of new experiences in general, and a potty is a HUGE change.  Then, of course, there's the fear of the potty itself.  Noah is terrified of ours.  He happily follows us to the bathroom, but trying to get him to sit on it--uh, nope.  Ain't gonna happen.  Joe has tried a couple of times, and the results weren't pretty.  At all.  The worst thing is that he can't really tell us what exactly he's afraid of.  The noise?  No.  He likes to flush it.  The sensation of sitting so high off the ground?  Well, considering that he stands on top of our sofa and jumps off, not likely.  But he's terrified.  No way around it. 

That brings me to the next obstacle:  communication.  We are luckier than many in that Noah does have words.  He can tell us "I ni poowet," which means I need a new diaper.  We'll be able to teach him to say "I need potty."  Many parents of kids on the spectrum don't have that luxury.

Body awareness is another problem.  Noah has issues with body awareness, and I think that's going to be our biggest challenge.  We have no idea if he can feel when he needs to go.  I think he might.  The other day he told me he needed a poowet, but when I changed him he was clean and dry.  Ten minutes later, he actually went.  So, I think he felt that he had to go.  But I'm not sure if he can always do that.  The solution to this is basically to put him on a schedule.  But it's arduous and takes time.  And that's okay.  We have time. 

Another obstacle for training a child with autism is sensory issues.  With Lela, sensory issues worked in our favor.  She hated the feeling of a wet diaper, and she was wet trained by 18 months.  On the other hand, Eli loved being dirty.  He was a smearer.  I won't go into that in detail, but basically until he was 8, Lysol and bleach was always in stock here.  Oh yeah.  Thankfully, Noah doesn't seem to have that inclination.  He seems generally unaware of what's going on down there.  He asks to be changed when his diaper feels saggy.  That bothers him more than being wet or dirty. 

You'd think that after training two other kids on the spectrum, I'd be ready.  Wrong!  Each child is different, and we won't really know what we're facing until we're into it.  Lela was super easy.  She was done by age two and never regressed.  The only unexpected thing with her was that she insisted on using the adult potty.  The training potty she had played music, and it scared her.  Eli was four before he trained, and then we had to retrain him after he started school.  Training him was one of the most frustrating things I've ever done--for both of us.

So, with Noah, I'm taking things slow.  We bought a potty.  We got him to sit on it wearing his shorts and a diaper.  Next, I want to get him to sit on it while we potty, hopefully so he will associate what we do with his potty.  That's a goal for right now.

Wish us luck!